An Obnoxious Friendinsertion Fanfic
by ms.ohtori
Summary: This story was written for my friends. I don't expect anyone else to read it, and if you do, the writing quality is not going to be high, because it's just for laughs between me and my friends, who are the only ones who will get it anyway.
1. Chapter 1

"LACEY! LACEY DID YOU GET IT?"

"YEAH, I DID! TORY AND EMILY DID TOO! DID YOU?"

"UH HUH! AND SO DID MARINA!"

"All five of us got into the exchange program?"

"Uh huh, and we're all going to the same school! Let's meet somewhere."

"Let's go to my house. We can all talk about it."

Soon everyone was at Lacey's house. They went online and looked up a website about Ouran Academy, and read through the brochures they were sent.

"I'm bringing my school girl outfit!" Lacey said.

"Nuh uh, they have uniforms. Look." Marina shoved a brochures in Lacey's face.

"Ugh, is that yellow monstrosity what we have to wear? The guys' uniform is better than that. Maybe I should get one of those."

"What, pretend you're a guy? What'll you call yourself? Lacey isn't exactly genderless," Petrina tossed a pillow at her.

"I think the yellow dress is kind of cute," Emily chimed in.

"I will be… uh…"

"I'm looking at guy's names starting with L-a online, and it looks like your choices are Lamar, Lance, Lazlo, Lawrence, or Larry. All the semi-normal sounding ones, anyway."

"Screw it, I'll be a guy called Lacey."

"That'll last long," Marina muttered.

"Hey, so where are we staying?" Emily asked.

"The brochure says we'll meet our host family after our first day of school. Huh. Normally we'd get to meet them beforehand…" Petrina said.

"It's just the most convenient time for us to meet them. We'll get there and go to school, then meet them at the end of the day," Tory said, "Now let's get ready to go and pack. Hey, Emily, you're going to be in the same grade as me then, right?"

"Yeah, I'm a first year. But the others are second-years, right? That would make sense. I mean, we are the same age…"

"Lacey, want to go read some seven minutes in heaven with Itachi? Ooh, wait, **twenty** minutes in heaven. This looks promising." Petrina looked mischievous.

"Out. Go away and pack now. Before I unplug the computer."

"So, how did you three get through the day knowing barely any Japanese?" Petrina asked, catching the rest of the girls in the hallway after school.

"We each had a guide that translated for us, someone who's really good at English. Are you guys supposed to come here too?" Tory asked.

"Yeah, I'm supposed to meet the kid from my host family here. And then later they'll get to come back home with us… I hope we get along." Emily said

"I don't know anything about mine… I don't even know whether they're a guy or a girl! But the note in my homeroom said to come to music room three, and here we are… maybe our hosts are all friends! That would be too awesome," Marina said. "Let's go meet them."

Lacey pushed open the door, and rose petals swirled out. "What the hell?" she yelled and spit one or two out that had landed in her mouth.

A group of male voices said something in Japanese. "They said 'welcome,'" Petrina whispered.

A tall blond boy stepped up and began speaking rapidly in Japanese. Even though no one knew exactly what he was saying, everyone was blushing (especially Marina)… except for Lacey, who was looking at him with a clear "this guy is an idiot" expression, which he did not notice.

"Tamaki," a low voice said. A dark-haired boy with glasses stepped forward, and spoke, in perfect English: "I don't think they have a clue what you're saying. They're not new visitors to the host club, they're our guests, the exchange students from America. Do you remember?"

"Oh! Hello, princesses!" Tamaki squealed. "Welcome, welcome. And um… prince." Lacey glared at him. "Welcome to the host club… this is Kyoya, Mori-senpai, Hunny-senpai, Hikaru, and Kaoru. I am Tamaki Suoh, the king of this host club. And this… is Haruhi."

No one stepped forward to greet anyone because they were in shock, except Tory. She went and greeted Haruhi, who appeared the most friendly. Tamaki, who was standing in between them, appeared jarred. He looked back and forth between them rapidly, muttering something in French and looking incredibly confused.

"The boss is confused because she looks like Haruhi," the twins explained in unison.

"You have a girl in your host club?" Emily asked.

"She's a boy!" the smallest boy declared.

"…she?" Petrina asked.

"No one knows… I guess it's more obvious to Americans… short hair is more common there… as I can see." Haruhi said.

"She does look like Haruhi…" the twins said. "But taller," Kaoru added. Hikaru continued "And with bigger breasts." Kaoru shoved Hikaru "Don't say things like that, Hikaru! I don't think she appreciates it!" "I'm sorry, Kaoru… can you forgive me?" He took the other boy in his arms. "Hikaru!!!" Everyone squeed, including Lacey.

Tamaki looked up from Haruhi and Tory. "Eh? You're not acting very much like a boy." Lacey glared up at him.

Kyoya laughed curtly. "That's because she's just like Haruhi. Haven't you been able to tell? You're a girl, aren't you, Lacey?"

Lacey looked up at him. "Es tut mir leid, aber kann ich nur Deutsch sprechen."

"Wirklich? Weil ich auch Deutsch spreche, und das war nicht stimmt. Es soll "aber **ich ****kann** nur Deutsch sprechen." Kyoya smiled coldly.

Lacey bowed her head. "Well, that one didn't work. Uhh… Ringo?"

"Do you want an apple, Laci-chan? We don't have apples, but we have cake. Do you like cake?"

"I love cake!" Emily said to Hunny.

"Let's go eat some then, kay, Emi-chan?" As the two skipped away, traces of "This is Usa-chan, my bunny" were heard.

"Well, I guess they'll be gone for a while," Tamaki said. "Now, would any of you like to spend time here with us? We don't have any other customers today… why is that, mommy?"

"They're all at some special event… which I guess these girls didn't know about."

"Did he just call him Mommy?" Petrina whispered to Marina.

"So, would any of you like to spend some time with any of us?"

Everyone nodded, and gravitated to the host they found the most attractive. Haruhi was left with no one, which was understandable, since none of the girls were into other girls. Lacey at this point was especially lucky, since she was spending time with two hosts.

"So. Um… you two are twins…"

"How delightfully obvious."

"Hikaru!"

"And you… umm…"

"Are into each other? What, do you like that?"

"But are you?"

"Well, the customers seem to enjoy it. So, why are you wearing a guy's uniform?"

"Because the girls' one looks like shit."

The twins looked at each other. "Hmm… true," Hikaru said. "Maybe our mother should design another one," Kaoru added.

"Your mother…"

"…is a fashion designer," Kaoru finished. "And a good one," Hikaru declared.

"Huh. So am I," Lacey smiled. "I'd love to meet her."

"Well it looks like you might get to, considering you're the only one named Lacey here."

"What do you mean?"

"Our slip for exchange students says ours is named Lacey. And that is you, right?"

"Yeah…" she smiled and glanced over to see what had happened to the others.

Petrina and Takashi were sitting at a table, where it looked slightly awkward to Lacey, but it wasn't at all.

"So, Mori-senpai… you're a third-year?"

"Yeah."

"You're Hunny-senpai's cousin, right?"

"Yeah."

"You're pretty protective of him, huh."

"Yeah."

"So, since you're Takashi, you must be my host, right?"

"Yeah."

"Do you say things besides 'yeah'?" Petrina teased.

"…yeah." Petrina caught a hint of a smile on his lips.

He glanced over at Hunny, which happened every other minute or so.

Hunny and Emily were at a small table sampling different kinds of cake, debating which one was best. Usa-chan was poised on Emily's lap, who held the bunny like it was the most precious thing in the world.

"I'm actually 17," Hunny said with his mouth full, "the same age as Takashi! But most people don't think that."

"I believe you, senpai. Just cause you're older doesn't mean you can't like cute stuff and sweets, right?"

Honey beamed at Emily. "Emi-chan, you're the greatest. Guess what?"

"What?"

"You get to come live at my house!"

"Really!"

"Yeah! Look! Tama-chan and Mari-chan are standing all alone…"

Marina had stayed with Tamaki. "Does that mean I've been lucky enough to get to stay with you, my princess?" She nodded.

"Oh, how lucky I am to get the most beautiful girl out of all the ones that came here today. If only she could be my exchange student too… what is your name, princess?"

"…Marina…"

"Oh, Princess Marina, this is just too wonderful! This means that you get to stay at my family's second estate with me!"

"Oh, wow, Tamaki…"

"Would you like some tea, my princess?"

"Oh, no thank you…"

"Then, maybe, would you like some music?"

"Music? Well, that sounds nice…"

"Say no more, princess." He took her hand and led her into the back room. Kyoya glanced up from his notes and smirked.

"Where is he taking her, Kyoya-senpai?"

"Eh? Oh, he's just going to play the piano for her. Are you… are you here for me?"

"Well… if that's okay. Or do you not do this sort of thing?"

"Oh, no, I'm here, just like everyone else. It's just that I'm not normally requested as much… I don't really fit into a specific category that the girls enjoy."

"Weird… I would think you'd be most requested. Maybe after Tamaki, just because he's a bit more… forward."

"I was trying to match which hosts you girls would choose… the exchange program is covered by Tamaki's father, who handed it over to Tamaki and then to me to decide who'd stay with who. You are Tory… right?"

"Yes… I am."

"Well, I think I matched correctly, considering everyone in the room is with the people they're rooming with. Including yourself." Tory smiled.

"Actually, oddly enough, I wasn't quite sure where to put you. You are, in fact, with me though, by default. I hope that pleases you."

"It does. So how did you decide who went with who? Lucky guesses?"

"It was based on your interests and information I had about you…"

"You have information about us?"

"I did some research to make sure you'd all be happy."

"Well, what did you find out about me, then?"

"Your grades are above average although not exceptional, though considering the academic level of your high school, rather accomplished. You're taking many arts classes. Your father works as an engineer and your family is financially stable though not incredibly wealthy. You have many friends and you study theatre outside of school. You're very attractive—"

Tory coughed. "Oh… I'm just reading off of my sheet, of course. It's all statistics."

"And who decides these statistics?"

"Why, myself, of course."

"So, what you're saying is, you think I'm attractive."

"Well, as you've painted me into a corner, yes, I do."

"Well, I'm honored then, senpai."

"Since we've got that settled, should we sit down? We've been standing here talking for a while now."

"Yes, I think I'd like that."

"Would you like some tea, Mademoiselle?"

"…that was the fakest thing I've ever heard. Don't ever try to talk like that again, please."

"Hmm?" Kyoya looked puzzled.

"That syrupy 'It's my job to flirt with you' voice, it's horrible. We were just really talking a second ago."

Kyoya laughed silently. "I think I get it. Do you want some tea?"

"Yes, thank you."

Later, all of the groups walked out one after the other. First came Hunny and Emily, holding hands and carrying Usa-chan with them. Then Takashi followed protectively with Petrina at his side. Tamaki escorted Marina out like a gentleman on his arm, while Kyoya and Tory walked at a normal pace not really acknowledging each other. Last came the twins pulling on one of Lacey's arms each, eager to get back to their house. Haruhi followed them out. She felt a little weird that she was left alone, but sort of relieved the attention was off her. She would have had an exchange student too if her house had the room. She watched the twins walk off half-dragging Lacey. "This is going to be fun…" she thought.


	2. Chapter 2

"Tory-chan!" While walking in the hall, Tory was grabbed on each of her shoulders by Hikaru and Kaoru. "Um… hi?"

"We were thinking…" "We want to do something for Lacey's birthday."

"Isn't the host club already doing something?"  
"Well, yeah…" "Thanks for that idea, by the way." "But we want to do something special…" "She is our exchange student…"

"You know what…? I have an idea."  
"You do?" they both asked.

Tory assumed a traditional Tamaki pose… "Hikaru… Kaoru… how well do you sing?"

BUM BUM BUMMMM!!!!


End file.
